Owing to the fact that the intertron connection here is on par with dial-up,  I must defer the posting of pictures of monkeys and such until my triumphant return.  Therefore, I would like to take this time to dispel some rumors you may have heard about the region I am now in (See recent posts)

The first thing I'd like to point out is:  Durian, a fruit which grows in the area, is NOT good.  All of the fruit that I have encountered here have been the same; They smell like bad body odor, or feet, or ass. I have attempted to stomach some of these things, against my better judgment and the complaints of my mouth and body, and contrary to what I have been told, they, without exception, smell terrible and taste only...marginal. For example, I've heard some people describe "Durian" as "like eating ice cream out of a dirty diaper". I would like to refute this now with the following 5 points:

1. Durian does not taste anything like ice cream. It tastes like a canteloupe dipped in feet.

2. Even if it did taste like ice cream, I don't know anyone that would be inclined to eat ANYTHING out of a dirty diaper, so I would say that, to it's credit, Durian is not as bad as a soiled diaper.

3. The aftertaste is something like licking a homeless Frenchman's unbathed armpit. FOREVER.  (I literally wanted to throw up from the aftertaste alone for a good ten minutes, until I had gargled and swallowed three capfuls of listerine (swallowing the listerine was necessary to keep my esophagus from pushing the flavor back out into my mouth.))

4. I have never eaten anything that has made me want to bleach my intestines...This made me want to shoot a jet of bleach into my anus and clear out my intestines, pushing everything back out through my mouth so that the taste would not permeate farther into my system.

5. Did I mention that it smells like a corpse's rotting ballsack and TASTES LIKE LICKING A DEAD MAN'S ARMPIT? because I wouldn't want anyone to miss that point.